There ARE teachers who care!!

I just returned from a fabulous conference in Largo Florida-- the SPARC conference (www.standadvocates.org/). Over 1000 people attended- including parents, professionals (teachers, administrators, OT's PT's, alternative therapies and wonderful supprt groups!) from many different backgrounds-- but we were all searching for ways to help our kids SUCCEED!!

We had the honor of leading two presentations; one primarily for parents and another one for teachers and professionals. Both groups were enthusiastic and genuinely interested in looking for different strategies to help kids.

The parents in attendance were obviously frustrated that they felt the education process was not meeting the needs of their children. There was a lively discussion that focused on how, as parents, THEY COULD be instrumental in fostering support from the teacher and the school, as well as outside professionals, to help their child be outrageously successful. Many parents did not want to leave-- and stayed for the next session that was focused on helping teachers both identify and teach to smart right-brained learners!

This was a group of enthusiastic teachers who really cared! They did not have to come. They too were frustrated that their 4th grade students were reading at the 1st grade level and all the programs that they had tried were just not successful enough!! Our notes were moved aside so that we could address what the teachers wanted! Specific strategies and tools they could use with students that would engage them and help them be successful.

We encouraged teachers to be the ones to take the initiative with parents to work as a team WITH the student to set bold goals. There was excitement that came from both groups when we spoke about looking at children from the perspective of what they CAN do versus what difficulties they are having. We can hardly wait to hear the success stories. We know there are many teachers out there who want to make the difference-- and we were happy to meet and work with some yesterday!! We CAN make a difference!!

Everything is organized play!

A recent post on Mamasource caught my eye- A mom was asking for other parents that just wanted to get together every couple of weeks to have their 5 year-olds play soccer. Just for fun!!

What a great idea! An activity for kids to have FUN!!! I think we have pushed our kids so hard, so early that we are seeing those stresses come out as early as 1st grade!! When did learning stop being fun? Everyday I see kids come in with long faces and stressed. When I ask them if they had fun at school- they look at me like I just arrived from some strange planet!!! School and fun are just NOT two words you use in the same sentence!

As parents we need to stop that insanity!! YES our kids need to learn, and YES they need exercise and YES they need to learn to interact positively with others- but the FUN needs to be an integral part of learning. I coined the term FLEARNING-- a combination of fun and learning. Every time I explain this concept to kids they smile-- it definitely improves their day!!

We race our kids from one activity to another-and then there is the dreaded homework. In the midst of everything else in our day-be sure something FUN is included. At the end of the day- it is going to be THAT interaction that both of you will remember: and who knows, your kids might even learn something in the process!! Have a fun day!!

I thought THIS year would be different!

I thought THIS school year was going to be different!! My child promised me it would be!!! We were both so stressed by the end of the school year last year that I really don't remember who was more excited about summer vacation. NO homework, NO schedule NO screaming at each other about what had to be completed! We both agreed that this school year was going to be different! We were BOTH going to be organized (whatever that means) and our time before and after school was going to be pleasant--- no yelling, no last minute "I forgot my textbook", or misplacing assignments!! He promised he would remember everything and that I did not need to be "on his case" about every little detail. Sound familiar??? Well here we are 6 weeks into school and everything has fallen apart. I have messages from Michael's teachers that he is already missing assignments and that he is not copying notes from the board. We are in a constant battle about using his school planner. It did not help that the teacher did not give it to students until the 3rd week of school-- but still...WHY CAN'T MY KID JUST DO WHAT IS ASKED OF HIM??

I know kids are not born with the skill to know what to do when- but for years now he knows that when he gets up in the morning he needs to go to the bathroom, brush his teeth(!), get dressed, eat breakfast, put his shoes on, get his lunch (which is already made!), put it in his backpack and get out the door by 7:30! Now that he's in 4th grade don't you think it's time he knows how to do this already- without my reminding him?

There is so much written about time management and organizational skills, but who has time to READ that stuff when you are constantly trying to help your kid stay on task?

When I have time to reflect on the frustrating experiences with my son- I can't help but laugh at his creative avoidance responses- "Mom-I have more important stuff to think about in the morning than brushing my teeth!" or "Why should I make my bed when I'm just going to get into it again and mess it up when I go to bed?" Who can argue with that?

I know there are professional organizers- many of whom are my friends! -but- what I have learned over the years with working with kids who are "right-brained" learners is that we need to learn what works best for that particular child. Every child thinks differently, and they need to take ownership of their world. They did not become "dis"organized overnight. They just became "dis"engaged when more things were asked of them! They are also not going to magically become organized in a few days!

Start small, and start VISUAL!!! Sit down with your child -whatever age- and create a plan together.
Ask your child what they want you to say or do to keep them on task. I will guarantee you that your child's creative mind is a million miles away from getting dressed in the morning- unless there is something they WANT to do. Then their mind is focused on what needs to be done.

As for the after school-evening skirmishes. Again start small and don't expect a lot. Make sure you BOTH sit down to go over what homework needs to be completed. MAKE NO ASSUMPTIONS. Set mini time goals: 45 minutes of work- 7 minutes break(including getting a snack and water). Make it some odd time so that you and your child will remember it!

Every time you have a positive experience- remind yourself and your child that they are doing a good job! How many of you can relate to this??

Starting today lets all resolve to stay calm and on task. Then celebrate a positive or approximately
positive day!