I thought THIS year would be different!

I thought THIS school year was going to be different!! My child promised me it would be!!! We were both so stressed by the end of the school year last year that I really don't remember who was more excited about summer vacation. NO homework, NO schedule NO screaming at each other about what had to be completed! We both agreed that this school year was going to be different! We were BOTH going to be organized (whatever that means) and our time before and after school was going to be pleasant--- no yelling, no last minute "I forgot my textbook", or misplacing assignments!! He promised he would remember everything and that I did not need to be "on his case" about every little detail. Sound familiar??? Well here we are 6 weeks into school and everything has fallen apart. I have messages from Michael's teachers that he is already missing assignments and that he is not copying notes from the board. We are in a constant battle about using his school planner. It did not help that the teacher did not give it to students until the 3rd week of school-- but still...WHY CAN'T MY KID JUST DO WHAT IS ASKED OF HIM??

I know kids are not born with the skill to know what to do when- but for years now he knows that when he gets up in the morning he needs to go to the bathroom, brush his teeth(!), get dressed, eat breakfast, put his shoes on, get his lunch (which is already made!), put it in his backpack and get out the door by 7:30! Now that he's in 4th grade don't you think it's time he knows how to do this already- without my reminding him?

There is so much written about time management and organizational skills, but who has time to READ that stuff when you are constantly trying to help your kid stay on task?

When I have time to reflect on the frustrating experiences with my son- I can't help but laugh at his creative avoidance responses- "Mom-I have more important stuff to think about in the morning than brushing my teeth!" or "Why should I make my bed when I'm just going to get into it again and mess it up when I go to bed?" Who can argue with that?

I know there are professional organizers- many of whom are my friends! -but- what I have learned over the years with working with kids who are "right-brained" learners is that we need to learn what works best for that particular child. Every child thinks differently, and they need to take ownership of their world. They did not become "dis"organized overnight. They just became "dis"engaged when more things were asked of them! They are also not going to magically become organized in a few days!

Start small, and start VISUAL!!! Sit down with your child -whatever age- and create a plan together.
Ask your child what they want you to say or do to keep them on task. I will guarantee you that your child's creative mind is a million miles away from getting dressed in the morning- unless there is something they WANT to do. Then their mind is focused on what needs to be done.

As for the after school-evening skirmishes. Again start small and don't expect a lot. Make sure you BOTH sit down to go over what homework needs to be completed. MAKE NO ASSUMPTIONS. Set mini time goals: 45 minutes of work- 7 minutes break(including getting a snack and water). Make it some odd time so that you and your child will remember it!

Every time you have a positive experience- remind yourself and your child that they are doing a good job! How many of you can relate to this??

Starting today lets all resolve to stay calm and on task. Then celebrate a positive or approximately
positive day!